Discipline

I thank the Lord that He convicts me, that He gives me the desire to seek Him completely.
Praise God He does not 'settle' for less than what is BEST for each of us.

He has been teaching me be disciplined. That I can choose discipline, I do not have to be moved like a wave, back and forth and where ever the wind blows. Discipline myself, the Lord gives me a sound mind. The Lord lives inside me, He wants me to live a life from the inside out.  Not from the outside... the flesh.
Lately I have felt 'torn' between wanting my own little home here in the states, and serving from 'home' in the states. But the longing for serving the orphans does not go away.  Finally this morning, I prayed (again) about the course in 'teaching English as a Second Language' to the kids in Guatemala, or where ever the Lord sends me.  I admitted to God, I don't have the money, and I didn't believe He wanted me to charge it and be in debt to serve Him.
Within two hours of this prayer, a friend, (a man I have had conversation with on the phone and through email and facebook, but have not met in person) offered to send the money needed for the course. PRAISE GOD!!!! Isn't God just amazingly Awesome... thank you God for providing this course.  This clarifies so much for me. I've had other little things come my way, such as a gift 'a mothers promises'  from my own daughter who tearfully gave it to me since I am going to be as a mother to so many other children.  The Lord has blessed me with young woman that I love, and admire, as my daughter.  I thank Him also for her salvation, friendship and yes, even correction at times.. as steel sharpens steel so a believer helps (encourages) another. 

I sought the council of a dear brother in the Lord who is mature and wise in the Lord. He suggested I continue along the path that the Lord has given me a desire for.  To be busy about His work, be steadfast, and PRAY continually.  (thank you Dennis)

The Lord says to seek Him diligently and we will find Him.
Deu 4:29 NKJV - "But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find [Him] if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Jer 29:13 NKJV - And you will seek Me and find [Me], when you search for Me with all your heart
The discipline I desire, require and need is to put the Lord FIRST daily. Not to give him the left over time in my life, the left over thoughts, or only when I need Him.  But, rather, to seek Him first.
Mat 6:33 NKJV - "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
To DIG DEEPER into His word. His word truly is LIVING.. just as He is living.. .He is the Word.
To not just read His word (the bible) but to actually study it. yeah I know the word 'study' just has a negative effect doesn't it? So, I think it is fair to say, to digest each part that is being read, each word, in context of the time, how does it apply TO ME, to MY LIFE?? What am I having a difficult time understanding??
the website www.blueletterbible.com has some terrific commentaries that you can read or it will actually read to you! Isnt that cool??? I think so.  Anyway, when I need MORE information, I go to that website, and go to the commentaries and find the area I need explained more. It is an easy way to dig deeper for yourself.

The Lord has been dealing with me 'to finish' the work that was started within me. The work I my self have started, to complete tasks....
imagine getting in the boat on one side of the lake... you are crossing over to the other side.... you do not just ... boom... pow... arrive at the other side. No, you must cross the lake, cross the middle, and everything in between the opposite shores.  The crossing is the learning part, the becoming disciplined part, the hanging in there part, the 'your almost there' part.... until you ACHIEVE the destination of the other side.  So don't become discouraged.  stay the course, reach the other side.  I have often in my life started projects, various things, even to loose weight, to exercise, to walk, what ever, promises to myself. Guess what??? I often have not completed the task, or achieved the goal I set for myself.
When it is up to me, watch out!! BUT, when it is up to God, it is possible. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD, according to His will.   So that kind of goes with, watching the words we speak. (James 3) oh yes, we are accountable for ALL the words that come out of our mouths, the words we speak, they come from within us. So this also must be disciplined. in Proverbs.......even a fool appears wise until he speaks....
Pro 17:28 NKJV - Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; [When] he shuts his lips, [he is considered] perceptive.
Pro 17:28 ESV - Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.
I will order the Teaching English as a Foreign Language next month, and begin the course online. I will share more info as I learn more about the program and as I progress through it.
Praise be to the one true living God.
For even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil..
For the Lord is my comforter, my shield, my protection, my provider, He is my EVERYTHING.  I praise His name for lifting out of the miry clay and making me a usable vessel to glorify His name.

Pe 3:18 ESV - But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.Kim

realizing truth

It is morning, again, during the night I awoke, unable to sleep, and again, He revealed things to me that I have been praying about, to reveal what is hindering me in my walk with Him. Psa 63:6 NKJV - When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the [night] watches.The Lord is so good and faithful. During this time of awake, I realized, that not only was the Lord telling me not to physically return to my previous location, (As those in the wilderness wanted to return to Egypt after He had delivered them out of there), but that I also could not return to past BEHAVIORS and ways of thinking!! That this also would cause me to wonder in the 'mental' wilderness.. And honestly, what a person thinks, is the direction they will go.  What a person thinks becomes their (personal) reality. What a person thinks, is what a person speaks, AND they BELIEVE what they are saying whether it is indeed a truth or not.
Our minds are powerful, and the Lord tells me in His Word,
2Ti 1:7 NKJV - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind
We have the ability to CHOOSE not to think negative thoughts, bad thoughts, mean thoughts, but rather positive loving thoughts.
Phl 4:8 NKJV - Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things [are] noble, whatever things [are] just, whatever things [are] pure, whatever things [are] lovely, whatever things [are] of good report, if [there is] any virtue and if [there is] anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.
Don't have stinkin thinkin!

The fruit of the Spirit is not negative thinking which leads to bad behavior.
Gal 5:19 NKJV - Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
Gal 5:20 NKJV - idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,
Gal 5:21 NKJV - envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told [you] in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
HEAVY!  How many of us fit into those catagories??? Praise God, Jesus delivers each of us from it!

Gal 5:22 NKJV - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Gal 5:23 NKJV - gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
Eph 5:9 NKJV - (for the fruit of the Spirit [is] in all goodness, righteousness, and truth),
Without realizing what my behaviors were, I was ever so slowly sliding backwards in my thinking. The devil is sneaky, he is not bold to confront, but rather goes around seeing whom he can deceive..
1Pe 5:8 NKJV - Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
If we 'think' about something that is not pure, it opens the gate ever so slightly, just enough for the devil to get his fat toe in so the gate will not shut, then if the thoughts continue, the toe becomes a foot, and then a knee, a leg, see, the devil will entice, (in our thoughts) and if we give into the enticement, (act on the thoughts...they give birth to sin). 
Jam 1:15 NKJV - Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
(the thief is the devil) Jesus did not come to condemn people but rather to give life eternal with the Father.
Jhn 10:10 NKJV - "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have [it] more abundantly.
1Jo 5:12 NKJV - He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life
Jhn 3:17 NKJV - "For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
(the person that believes in Jesus)
Jhn 3:18 NKJV - "He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Jhn 3:19 NKJV - "And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
Jhn 3:20 NKJV - "For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.
Jhn 3:21 NKJV - "But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God."
Jesus said:Luk 11:23 NKJV - "He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters.
Luk 9:50 YLT - and Jesus said unto him, `Forbid not, for he who is not against us, is for us.'
So, there is no in between with Jesus. I am either WITH Him or Against Him. It is my choice. Salvation through Him, or not. He gives the gift of life eternal with Him, if I reject the free gift of life with Him, then I will have eternal life WITHOUT Him...

that He is faithful to keep His promises now just as He did in times past.
I do not want to return to the bondage's that held me previously, I want to walk in the Freedom of His truth, of His Word, the Word of LIFE.

Eph 1:2 NKJV - Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
in Him;
Kim

another lesson in trust

A psalm to the Lord:
Psa 143:8 NKJV - Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.
Lately I've been feeling 'empty' and I just could not put my finger on 'why'.  I have been reading, praying, attending church, but still just 'felt' out of sorts. More emotional, tears would flow and I really wasn't aware of the reason(s) why. I have prayed, inquired and waited.  I have been waking up every night unable to return to sleep. Sometimes I would get up and read my bible, other times, get out of bed and pray, still sometimes I would just toss and turn.. and then over sleep in the morning and feel tired most of the day. 'What is going on?' FINALLY last night I prayed for God to reveal to me what is hindering me.

This morning at church, I had an epiphany! As if I was standing in a dark room and suddenly the light turned on! PRAISE GOD.
Let me share:

As I have previously mentioned, I know that the Lord lead me here, to Post Falls, ID.  He has blessed me in small ways, and big ways. I have a home to live in, food, clothing, a warm bed, a wonderful church with new friends in Christ. A bible study, I am healthy, the migraines are not as frequent. I am blessed.
BUT, I'm not working yet, and even though I had not admitted it or realized it, I have been worried about my bills being paid, about having money to pay them. Jobs are much harder to obtain these days, and yes, I am almost 50 years old, and that in itself is playing havoc with me.  I begin to think of the life I lived (looking backwards) and feeling a sense of loss, of regret that I didn't do other things in my life, that I made mistakes I wish I could change, realizing that I am 'older' and lets admit it, less attractive due to aging, and weight gain. (a thickening of the body) Yes, I would say I have been in a funk and yet, didn't realize it. This is the first time I am 'admitting' it to myself, and others.
I have felt whiny! Not to people, but to God. I have wept, I have felt lonely. Wondering, will I have a husband?? What am I going to do? do I go to Guatemala and live and serve the children there? Oh God, how 'I want' a home of my own. Then the thoughts, 'well you aren't very skilled to earn enough money to buy a home' (yes, I know its satan, but I allowed the negative thoughts in).

So~ with ALL that being said:
As I watch Joyce Meyer M-F she talks about 'self talk', the battlefield of the mind, negative thinking is stinking thinking.. LOL.. love that one.
As I read daily, I am reminded of my words that I speak. How powerful they are to me, and to others. That the Lord 'spoke' into existence the earth and all that is in it. I've been learning to zip my lip, to turn to God in prayer for others. He can guide them, they do not need me telling them what and how to do things. haha, unless of course I am asked, then I will share. But really, my lesson is to take it to the Lord.
I thought I was taking all my thoughts and feelings to the Lord in prayer, maybe I wasn't really laying it all down at His feet, allowing Him to deal with my issues.  I know I wasn't all the time, because I again thought,
"I'll just return to NC, to my home, to my friends, to my home church" (last time I decided that, the Lord immediately showed me through scripture it was not His will for me to return to NC and if I did, I would not be under His covering).  Hemm, wonder what I thought had changed, nothing, except my rebellious heart.

Again, I have been have a private pity party, feeling lost, lonely, and worried about my bills. Feeling 'homeless' since I am staying at a friends home right now, (I have to remind myself that Jesus did not own His own home, but traveled as He preached the gospel. He is my example on being humble)
Anyway~ I was in the midst of pity party this week, feeling depressed. (why? when I am SAVED from eternal torture away from Gods presence) How I let this world get to me.
So~ this morning in Church, the Pastor was talking about the faith of Abram,  God told Abram in Genesis 12:1 "Now the Lord said to Abram, 'Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you." (Abram was 75 years old at this time, imagine moving away from everyone and everything you knew, and people thought you were CRAZY for doing it)
Verse 4, "So Abram went, as the Lord had told him."  He went, not knowing where the Lord would lead him.
OK< so now lets go to Moses.
He led the people out of Egypt. It was a 11 day journey to the promised land.
Deu 1:2 KJV - ([There are] eleven days' [journey] from Horeb by the way of mount Seir unto Kadeshbarnea.)
But as we know, it took them 40 years to get there. Because they complained, EVEN though they had their daily needs met, water, food from heaven, warmth, their clothes never wore out, they had all there needs met. Yet, they complained, 'we would have been better if we stayed in Egypt, in bondage. 
So, without realizing it, I had the mentality of the Jews wondering in the desert! not being thankful for their deliverance and provision! How can God use me if I am unthankful, if I am not trusting Him to lead me according to His good and perfect will. 

I praise our Father in Heaven that He does know ALL things and provides for my needs; Romans 8:27-32
Rom 8:27 NKJV - Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit [is], because He makes intercession for the saints according to [the will of] God.
Rom 8:28 NKJV - And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose.
Rom 8:29 NKJV - For whom He foreknew, He also predestined [to be] conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
Rom 8:30 NKJV - Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
Rom 8:31 NKJV - What then shall we say to these things? If God [is] for us, who [can be] against us?
Rom 8:32 NKJV - He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?
The key is: ACCORDING TO HIS GOOD AND PERFECT WILL... not mine or yours.. His will.

Lord I pray in the sweet name of Jesus, that I would be pliable clay in your hands, to do with as you desire. Give me a willing heart to follow you. Thank you for the many, many blessings in my life and that of my family. AMEN

Grace to you and peace be mulitiplied;

Kim

A time of study

It is already the beginning of Oct. The past 12 months have flown by so quickly. If you would have asked me a year ago where I would be living, I doubt I would have replied: "Idaho". But the Lord plans our steps, it is up to each of us to seek Him, daily, and follow Him.  Not looking to each other for direction, only looking to the Lord.

Each of us has an individual life, our own path.  We should not be competing with each other, but be singled minded toward the Lord. Focused on Him and Him alone. Then, as others come into or cross our paths, our lives are blessed, enhanced and able to love and serve others.

I love the follow verses from the book of John. Jesus is telling Peter not to worry about what 'the other person' is doing, but follow Him.
Jhn 21:20 NKJV - Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, "Lord, who is the one who betrays You?"
Jhn 21:21 NKJV - Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, "But Lord, what [about] this man?"Jhn 21:22 NKJV - Jesus said to him, "If I will that he remain till I come, what [is that] to you? You follow Me."
At church, we are doing a 50 day study on Seven Spiritual Disciplines.
the following prayer is the basis of the seven spiritual disciplines.

Father,

Give me the faith of Abraham,

The humility of Moses,

The strength of Samson,

The wisdom of Solomon,

The Spirit of Elijah,

The heart of David,

And the love of Jesus.

Amen

We spend a week on each discipline. Doing a daily devotional, (as a church doing it all at the same time) then the Pastor teaches the following Sunday about the discipline. We have studied Abraham, and Moses. Now we are on Samson. In each study I see that they were men, just a human such as me. They had fear, doubt, questions, and yet, trusted God to be exactly who He says He is. To DO exactly what He says He will do. That God KEEPS HIS PROMISES, and that the very SAME promises are ours today, just as they were to these men years ago.

I believe that this falls in line with how the Lord has been pressing me to dig deeper into His Word. To not just read it, but dig deeper, study it, ask myself the following questions as I read each chapter:

1. What is your favorite verse?  Why?
2. What is your least favorite verse? Why?
3. Is there a verse you do not understand? (if not, inquire for more information. www.blueletterbible.com is an excellent resource)
4. Think of a Title for the chapter you read. Why?
5. Write a summary of the chapter, how it applies/affects you personally.

By doing these things, I find I retain more information & have a better understanding of what the Lord is teaching me.  Also; I have discovered, that I need to write, in long hand... letter by letter on a piece of paper or index card, Gods promises TO ME and READ them DAILY out loud!!  I know it sounds weird, but I was told "you believe more of what you say than anything you 'hear' other people say"

and I do believe it... or why would I bother saying anything at all if I didn't believe I was telling the truth??? haha~  So READ OUT LOUD and HEAR yourself say the Words of the Lord and be blessed.

Gal 6:18 NKJV - Brethren, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ [be] with your spirit. Amen.

Kim